How to increase your chances of being invited to play

How to increase your chances of being invited to play
How to increase your chances of being invited to play

The best nights are the ones where you make such a good impression that the sexiest people in the room invite you to come and join them!  

Having been in the lifestyle for nearly a decade, I’ve seen some people do this really well and some do this… well, think of a train wreck and you’re getting pretty close, so to make it easier and to increase the chances of success and fun for everyone, check these out:

Go with the flow!  This means walking in with zero expectations of getting in with the coolest, sexy people at the party but hey, if it happens, bonus!  People instinctively know when someone comes in with expectations; those who are casual about the whole thing are unconsciously more attractive.

Be interested in them which means do more listening and less talking about yourself, your conquests, your magic pleasure skills and how awesome you are in bed… ugh.

Respect the partners!  Oh this is a big one.  If you want to get invited to join a couple you need to get the approval from the one you could be seen as being in competition with.  This means building rapport with them, listening to them, not grabbing or making advances with their partner in front of them without asking if it’s ok first.  They are the gatekeepers, you need to impress them almost more than the one you want to get naked with.

Don’t dive in before the Dive Master says go! There is room in this lifestyle for being a bit bold but the quickest way for the door to be closed to your potential invitation is to cop a feel, go in for a kiss or go to rip their clothes off before they’ve actually given some sort of confirmation, sign, neon flashing light to say ready, willing and what-the-hell-are-you-waiting-for?  Oh and no ALWAYS means no. If you hear it, move on.  End of story.

Take your time.  Don’t be in a rush to get them from “hi” to “what’s for breakfast?”  In this lifestyle couples are looking for quality so they aren’t in a rush and are put off by people who are pushy and try to rush things. Well unless you are in the dominant/submissive thing but that’s a whole other article. 

Be fun and easy to talk to!  This means being relaxed and being you. Be conversational, fun and a bit flirtatious without going overboard.  It’s the people who are comfortable with themselves and easy to connect with that get the invitations.  Also know that if being yourself doesn’t lead to a connection then they probably aren’t your peeps. When you connect with your kind of people, the fun and pleasure are awesomely amplified!   

Ditch the drama and gossip!  When you’re getting to know a new couple, don’t talk about other people you’ve been with or know about, no need to share the dramas they are going through or the scene they made at the last party.  What happens in the head of the people you’re talking to is “what if they’re talking to someone else and share things like that about us?!?”  Don’t be THAT guy/girl. People want to know that you can be trusted and keep a secret… blabbering about someone else says the opposite. 

Build the relationship!  Even once you get the invitation to join in keep building a relationship with the partnerof the person you can’t wait ravage or pin up against the wall.  If their partner starts to feel like you’re moving in on their territory, if there is any scrap of insecurity or jealousy then you’re going to trigger it and then all hell and zero-fun breaks loose.  The partner is the bouncer even after you get past the VIP rope so keep that in mind.  At ALL times.

Look and smell your best!  This one is really a no-brainer! Hygiene people, hygiene.

Compliments  People respond to compliments, we all like to be told how sexy, intelligent, amazing, interesting we are (and don’t forget to compliment the partner somehow too).  Like all things though, best in moderation.

It’s really not hard to shine and stand out above the crowd, sometimes it just takes time to find your perfect matches so be patient and enjoy the ride!

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